A special phrase in Bundelkhand that’s useful all-year-round, whether the festival in question is approaching or not is “Diwali jagaana.” It’s basically the equivalent of the Ranveer Singh Do the Rex ad dance – when you’ve got it good, you wanna let the world know!
Many a morning after, women giggle at each other, asking if their Diwali was “jagao-ed” last night – how much, how long, how many times, etc. And the innuendo’s fast moved to What’s App now. Sprinkled with generous heart emojis. Because they might be the badlands, but they’re sure as hot hell, home to many a sexy Saturdays.
Here’s a mood-mein-laane-vaale Sexy Saturday playlist, from the madly beating heart of the hinterland, sung by the one and only Kavita Bundelkhandi.
1. Laali Lalitpur Ki
Laali Lalitpur ki paali ke paan honth kar gayi gulaabi. Main kab se hairaan, honth kar gayi gulaabi. Arre, Banda ki baindi, aur Jhansi ke jhaala. Arre, Mau se mangaaye dahi, ho motiyan ki mala. Honth kar gayi gulaabi. Main kab se hairaan, honth kar gayi gulaabi
Translation: Lalitpur’s special paan’s got my lips red. I’m astonished at how red they are! Banda’s baindi, and Jhansi’s jhaala, and from Mau, get me a string of pearls. My lips are red. I’m astonished at how red they are!
2. Kahaana Bitaai Saari Rain Ho
Kahaana bitaai saari rain ho, sachchi bolo raja. Zulfein tumhari Raja, igdi-bigdi. Mohiya pe chhai murjhai ho, sachchi bolo raja. Jaali ka kurta paseene se bheega, seena dhaka dhake hue ho, sachchi bolo raja. Jebein tumhari Raja khaali padi hain, moonh se kuch kahiya na jaaiyo, sachchi bolo raja.
Translation: Where did you spend all of last night, lover? Tell me the truth. Your hair is all tangled. You’re wearing a net kurta that’s drenched in sweat, but your chest is covered. Tell me the truth. Your pockets are all empty, and you’re not sayin a word – come on now, tell me the truth.
3. Nathuniya Haale Aur Rahi Jaaye
Nathuniya haale aur rahi jaaye. Are, gaadi ke jhinva mein johri boaaye doon. Bhutta kator lei gaye chor. Dadailaa haale aur rahi jaaye. Nathuniya haale aur rahi jaaye. Gaadi ke jhinva mein baingan lagaye doon. Baingan lei gaye chor. Dadailaa haale aur rahi jaaye. Nathuniya haale aur rahi jaaye. Daai aur Baba dono ekay mein soye gaye. Arre, Daai ka lei gaye chor. Babaunaa haale aur rahi jaaye. Nathuniya haale aur rahi jaaye.
Translation: My nose ring dangles, fast, then slow, and then it stops. We plant the jowar today and then someone steals our corn. All that’s left is a dangling stalk. Just like my nose ring that dangles, fast and then slow. And then it stops.
4. Baalam Chhote Se
Baalam chhote se, halke se. Halke pe aaye mohe laaj. Jab main gayi thi paniya bharan ko, baalam gaye more saath re. Baalam wahin machle, paani pila de mori jaan. Jab main gayi thi khaana pakaane ko, baalam gaye more saath re. baalam gaye more saath re, khaana khila de meri jaan. Jab main ayi thi mela dekhan ko, baalam gaye more saath re. Baalam wahin machle, phugga dila de meri jaan. Jab main gayi thi rally nikalaan, baalam gaye more saath re. Baalam wahin machle, billa laga de meri jaan. Jab main gayi thi sajiya sutane ko, baalam gaye more saath re. Baalam wahin machle, lori suna de meri jaan.
Translation: My lover is young, he is very light. I blush at the thought of that. When I set off to fill water, my lover, he followed me. He got excited and told me, ‘O my darling, give me some water.’ When I went to cook food, he followed me along. He got excited and told me, ‘O my darling, give me some food.’ When I went to watch the fair, my lover, he followed me. He got excited and told me, ‘O my darling, buy me a balloon.’ When I went to the rally, my lover, he followed me. He got excited there and told me, ‘O my darling, get me a badge.’ When I went to make the bed at night, my lover, he followed me. He got excited and told me, ‘O my darling, sing me a lullaby.’
5. Saiyya More Gore
Saiyaan more gore, main kaali badariya. Sone ki thaali main jevna parosiyo. Maare nazariya saiyaan more jevan mein. Saiyaan more gore, main kaali badariya. Sone ki gidwaa Gangajal paani. Maare nazariya saiyaan more ghootan mein maare nazariya. Chun-chun kaliyaan main sejaa lagayo. Maare nazariya saiyaan more sutay mein maaro nazariya.
Translation: My lover, he’s fair-complexioned, I’m like the dark monsoons. I served myself some food in a gold plate and my lover had his eyes on my plate. I poured some Ganga water into a gold glass and my lover had his eyes on my sips. I plucked the choices of flower buds to decorate the bed and my lover, he had his eye on me sleeping.
A version of this article first appeared on Agents of Ishq.